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Negative (Pregnancy Tests and Emotions) || Month 17

This month was hard for me. Not the month of November specifically, but the 17th cycle month of Jason and I hoping for a baby. We are nearing a year and a half now, and most of the time I’m totally fine, but this month was harder than most of them have been for me. There were definitely some contributing factors (I think of Harry Potter saying that Ginny’s nice skin could be a “contributing factor” to why some boy likes her every time I use or hear that phrase– in my head I say it using a British accent. Feel free to also do so in the next sentence).

Contributing Factors:

1) It’s the holiday season now, and had I been pregnant last cycle, it would have been perfectly timed to announce it to my family right at Christmas. I know I shouldn’t count the days or think that way because it’s just unnecessary, and I usually don’t, but I couldn’t help it this month and that made it harder when I realized I wasn’t.

2) This cycle was longer, so thinking it could be the month I took an actual pregnancy test. I’ve only ever taken one other pregnancy test because it’s torture seeing them turn out negative, and this month I chose to do that. I don’t really regret taking the test, but I can’t help but get my hopes dashed after I do.

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3) Mockingjay Part 1 came out (which is by no means sad– I LOVED the movie), but what does that have to do with hoping to be pregnant? Well, before the first movie came out in March 2012, I remember sitting in the theater thinking that it would be so long until the final movie came out, that by that point I’d have two kids and need babysitters to see the last two movies. I still have a year to go before it’s all over, but unless I get pregnant with twins in the next three months, that hopeful prophecy of my own making won’t be even close to true, and that makes me really sad.

So, those are some of the things that helped make this past month harder than normal. Every time a major holiday comes by I can’t help thinking “By next Christmas/Halloween/Valentines Day surely I’ll have a baby” only to have it not happen for me. Every time I buy “lady supplies” in bulk I can’t help but hoping it’ll be the last time I buy them. I know other women who have struggled with infertility can relate, but it hurts when friends you have who said they would save their baby clothes for you start giving them away to other friends for their babies, and it hurts when you notice that nobody pays attention to whether you’re having a drink anymore when you go out (telltale sign for lots of women before they make an announcement). Feeling obligated to say “I’m not pregnant, but guess what?!” every time you have big news isn’t awesome, and hearing “If you just stop stressing/worrying about it, it’ll happen” is just plain old (not to mention rude– it’s implying that it’s my fault that I’m not pregnant rather than a medical issue). It’s all old really.

So, sorry about the downer post, but sometimes you just have to let it out. This month was difficult, but a new one is here, and I’m already feeling a lot better. Most of my months are great. I have a ton of great friends, I go to an exciting church that I look forward to every week, my business is so busy I’m turning clients away, my little sister is moving to my city with her husband in two weeks, and my husband is the kind of man every girl dreams about. It’s really a fabulous life and I thank God for it often, but I know I can also lean on Him when I’m having a low point as well, and I have. I know that He has a specific plan for Jason and I, and I will love Him and trust Him even if it never happens for me because I know that His plans are greater.

What now? Well, I’m getting new insurance with Jason starting in January, and I am hoping to get a saliva test done, and well as some other basic fertility tests, just to see if there’s something that can be fixed or explained. We are also going to start the process of becoming certified as foster parents in January, and will be pursuing adopting from the foster care system. We have always wanted a baby, but there are so many kids out there wishing for a home, and if God puts me into a position to grant that wish, I would be incredibly honored. So those are my plans, but we’ll see! As always, thanks for reading, and thanks for your prayers.

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Little Mallory’s Newborn Session || Spring Hill Photography

SarahMariePhotography_0096Mallory was only a few days old when I went to her home for her very first photo session. Her mom and dad have a beautiful home, and her room was incredible! So many personal touches and a really pretty color scheme. I know a lot of new mommy’s visit this blog, so I put up some of those pictures for your inspiration!SarahMariePhotography_0097Mallory was an angel for our session, and kept giving me little smiles while I moved her into position.SarahMariePhotography_0098This soft matted pink color was her mommy’s favorite, and it’s mine too. I don’t have to have a lot of color in my newborn sessions, because I want the focus to be on the baby, but I like little touches that indicate what sex they are. Helps with announcements!SarahMariePhotography_0099Her perfectly pokey tummy made me laugh. So so cute.SarahMariePhotography_0100You know the secret to getting those little bows to stick? Vaseline!SarahMariePhotography_0101These were specifically requested poses from mommy, and they turned out cute!SarahMariePhotography_0102This basket was the perfect size for her, and she looks precious in it. We did this set to show off her little bum, but look at that smile! Every piece of her is so adorable. I can’t wait to see her for her four month session!

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My (2nd) Hunger Games Party || Food Ideas

So last year on the one year anniversary of the first movie, I had my first Hunger Games party (click the link to see). Last night I had my second one (because, in case you didn’t know, Mockingjay comes out on Friday!!!!!!!), but it was just a mini party. I only had a few girlfriends come over since my hubby was at  Jenny Lewis concert, and we all contributed to the food (there’s a list of the food below). I have a ton of Hunger Games stuff lying around, including posters and magazines, so I decorated with a black tablecloth and the mini signs my husband made (and is selling on Etsy now), and voila! Two movies and five hours later, it was a success!SarahMariePhotography_0105

Love you Becky, Angie and Mackenzie!!! Thanks for coming over!
SarahMariePhotography_0104Food List:

1) Cracker Jackers (Pioneer Woman has a good recipe for bacon and parmesan butter crackers)

2) Greasy Sae’s Mystery Meatballs (any old meatball recipe)

3) Peeta’s Cheese Buns (ready to bake rolls from Target with which I stuffed with cheddar cheese)

4) Mellark Bakery Pumpkin Snickerdoodles (I just found a random recipe on Pinterest)

5) Katniss’ Hot Chocolate

6) Prim’s Goat Cheese Platter

7) Nightlock Punch (Sprite, OJ and blue Koolaide mix topped with frozen blueberries)

8) Chicken Cornucopias (homemade chicken taquitos)

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The Flynn's Home Session || Emmie is 7 Months!

OMG. This session is truly worth a silly text-message acronym. OMG, these are so cute! Evan and Emmie are so photogenic, and they’re even more comfortable in their own home, so this session was a snap. We started in Emmie’s bedroom and with only a bow, carpet and bloomers, these simple images show off her personality (which is already so pronounced!). That tongue!SarahMariePhotography_0078I love baby rolls…

Evan is ALL boy. He’s smart, fast, strong, athletic, and super super full of energy, so naturally he loves the outdoors. Again, naturally, we went outside.SarahMariePhotography_0082His megawatt smile gets me every time!

These four pictures are my favorite series of the whole bunch. It’s just so them! Emmie lights up every time Evan comes in the room, and Evan loves her so much that he lets her pull his hair and scratch his face (all on accident of course) all the time. We stopped in a corner on the stairs and I just let them play, and this happened:
SarahMariePhotography_0079Uhg, SO cute, right?

And look at this tummy! Another simple background (a couch) with one tone clothes, because all you really need are these eyes and those smiles.

SarahMariePhotography_0080The finale:SarahMariePhotography_0081Eat your heart out.

Gay Hope Mayles - October 2, 2014 - 12:48 pm

Am I a sap or what? I don’t even know this family and these photos brought tears to my eyes. I just know they will treasure these photos forever and I know some of them will make it into a graduation and/or slideshow! You are a gift, Sarah!

Lori Ferris - October 3, 2014 - 12:22 am

My beautiful little sisters gorgeous children! Arent they the cutest ever!

Sharon Nelson Prince - October 3, 2014 - 4:31 pm

So precious!

Chad Chadwick - October 3, 2014 - 9:39 pm

They’re so beautiful. What memories they’ll have of each other. ;)

Kelli Miller - October 4, 2014 - 1:08 am

Love these!!! Beautiful!!!

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A Boy and His Fort || Home Life Mini Session

THIS. If I could do this every day, I would. I’d just go pick a house and stay awhile, observing the incredible cuteness of everyday routine in the life of a kid, and I’d document it as it happens. If you’ve followed me for awhile, you already know Evan. He’s an incredibly smart, active, funny four year old and I completely adore him, and LOVE taking his pictures. Last week I did a mini home life session with him. He stayed in his pajamas and made a huge mess in the living room. Mess, I say, but to him it was an incredible fort. By the end of it, I had to agree with his assessment over mine. It really was an awesome moment in time to be privileged to capture.

SarahMariePhotography_0074

The “mess”

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The finishing details

SarahMariePhotography_0076

The fort

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The result

Mini Home Life Sessions start at $200. Email me to set one up!

Lori Ferris - October 3, 2014 - 12:28 am

Amazing pictures of my sweet nephew, he is such a beautiful boy!

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